Articles

Ambridge Socialist: we back Chelsea’s act of revenge against class enemy Gemma

In Uncategorized on August 14, 2022 by kmflett

The Ambridge Socialist

14th August

We back Chelsea’s act of revenge against class enemy Gemma

Chelsea has scratched the car of chicken factory nark and supervisor Gemma after leaving the Bull with Tracey. It was a minor but justified act of revenge against a class enemy. Chelsea has been questioned by Knacker Burns but she has little to worry about there. Of more concern is her job at the Orangery where she faces the sack over errors despite the intervention of Call Me Russ.

Call Me Russ has however revealed his true nature and made Chelsea confess to Borchester Knacker as a quid pro quo for saving her job. Sgt Burns didn’t seem bothered it was quite low on his long list of unsolved crimes.

Ambridge ruling class in crisis as Godmother Peggy Woolley takes a back seat

Peggy Woolley (aka June Spencer) has announced that she will no longer take a part in BBC broadcasts from Ambridge after 70 years.

She was married to publican Jack Archer and then to the owner of Grey Gables Jack Woolley. In recent years she has been the ruling matriarch of Ambridge with a battle going on as to who would be  her eventual successor.

David Archer pushed Nigel Pargetter off the roof of Lower Loxley in 2011 in a bid to secure the succession when he was married to Elizabeth Archer. More recently however he has come to an accord with her new partner abattoir owner Vince Casey

Other contenders include model railway fan Tony Archer, trainee vicar Shula Archer and publican Kenton Archer. In a surprising move Peggy appears to have forgiven and indeed even praised Pat for her CND years in the 1980s.

Ambridge Socialist Editor Keith Flett said, as the Godmother Peggy has had a huge influence in Ambridge most recently positive with the rewilding project. Her succession will lead to tensions in the ruling Archers dynasty

Tory leadership hustings due at the Village Hall

There will be an Ambridge Socialist protest. Details to follow

In other news

Adil is trying to swerve a role at the fete as is Knacker Burns

Caitlin has returned to Wales leading to a general crisis at Bridge Farm

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