Articles

The Ambridge Socialist PC Burns arrests Freddie Pargetter & ends his career as a police officer

In Uncategorized on August 5, 2018 by kmflett

All the news of the class struggle in Borsetshire

5th August

The Ambridge Socialist is strongly in favour of the arrest and imprisonment of the rich and powerful for their numerous crimes against the people. At the same we live in the real world. Trump and Murdoch (& come to that Brian Aldridge) have not even been arrested let alone jailed.

We then come to PC ‘Knacker’ Burns arrest of Freddie Pargetter for drug related offences. Freddie is the son of Elizabeth part of the ruling Archer dynasty of Ambridge. He has immunity from arrest. The dialogue goes like this:

PC Burns to Elizabeth Archer. I’m afraid Ma’am that young Freddie is dealing drugs. It is all rather embarrassing. Could you by any chance have a word?

Elizabeth Burns. of course Constable Burns. Rest assured the matter will be dealt with.

PC Burns. Very well then. I will arrest Russ for conspiracy to enable drug dealing instead.

Expect Elizabeth to have a quiet word with the Chief Constable about PC Burns

Robin Fairbrother: Little Old Wine Drinker

Robin Fairbrother, father of Rex and Toby has appeared in Ambridge for some unknown reason. He previously featured some years ago when it was definitively proven that he was not a charming individual but an obnoxious arse.

There was some indication that in the interval he had gone into the coffee business but according to the BBC Fairbrother is in fact in the fine wines trade. He has already indicated a passing interest in Brian’s wine cellar which will shortly be available for sale and had a drinking session with David.

One wonders if Fairbrother is planning a Vintners in Borchester…

Affordable Housing in Ambridge

Susan is, predictably, not helping the campaign but more people are signing the Ambridge Socialist petition. You can add your name here:

https://www.change.org/p/kit-malthouse-parliament-uk-affordable-homes-in-ambridge?recruiter=45817997&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=share_petition.nuTOQr9FSliiD9vHkB7fug.1&utm_term=triggered

In Other News

Alistair is still being annoying

Freddie’s horse is dead. You didn’t know Freddie had a horse? How long have you been listening to the Archers?

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2 Responses to “The Ambridge Socialist PC Burns arrests Freddie Pargetter & ends his career as a police officer”

  1. “Robin Fairbrother, father of Rex and Toby has appeared in Ambridge for some unknown reason. He previously featured some years ago when it was definitively proven that he was not a charming individual but an obnoxious arse.

    “There was some indication that in the interval he had gone into the coffee business but according to the BBC Fairbrother is in fact in the fine wines trade. He has already indicated a passing interest in Brian’s wine cellar which will shortly be available for sale and had a drinking session with David.”

    FYI: Robin Fairbrother (son of Helen and George and half-brother to Grace)was a wine importer when he 1st met Lizzi in 1987. The then 34 year old had a house in the Dordogne. He was allegedly separating from his wife when he had an affair with Lizzi, but broke it off (without telling Lizzi) when he decided he was trying to get together with his wife again. He dumped Lizzi when she found him in Nelson’s, at which point she threw a glass of wine in his face.

    Cheers

    Ricky Cosmos.

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