Emergency wind bulletin for the hirsute
Contact Keith Flett 07803 167266
28th July
BEARD WEARERS WARNED: WIND CAN DAMAGE YOUR BEARD
The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said that as high winds are set to sweep across the UK on Sunday beard wearers are strongly advised to take special care of their beards.
The campaigners say that while danger to life and limb is the central issue when extreme weather hits, a secondary concern for organic beard wearers is that exposing the beard to high and blustery winds may blow the beard out of shape and can cause permanent hair and follicle damage in some cases.
It is less likely that designer and some hipster beards will suffer significant wind damage
The BLF advises the following precautions:
Keep the beard slightly damp at all times by immersing it in a glass of hazy IPA or imperial stout. This will give solidity to the beard hairs and prevent them being blown around.
Use a scarf to protect the beard at all times
Secure the beard with elastic bands, strapping the hairs to the chin
If the beard is blown out of shape use a hair dryer to re-form the hairs in the correct position and then stay indoors for a several hours to allow the hairs and follicles to recover
BLF organiser Keith Flett said, the answer is most definitely not blowin’ in the wind today. We advise the hirsute to take care out there
The Beard Liberation Front announces the Beard Friendly Pub of the Year on 14th January
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