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Pogonophobe Peter Alliss says Open golf is full of beards due to ‘Growmore’

In Uncategorized on July 19, 2018 by kmflett

Beard Liberation Front

Media release 19th July

Contact Keith Flett 07803 167266

Pogonophobe Peter Alliss says Open is full of beards due to ‘Growmore’

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has hailed the 147th Open Golf Championship at Carnoustie as the most hirsute of the Modern Era.

However BBC commentator and veteran pogonophobe Peter Alliss has claimed that the proliferation of beards at the Open is due the application of ‘Growmore’ a garden fertilizer.

While most major sports including football, cricket and even tennis, have embraced the beard, golf has been much slower with some leading players even looking as if they shave between holes.

However the campaigners say that with leading players such as South Africa’s Eric Van Rooyen and Britain’s Tommy Fleetwood sporting full beards golf has at last embraced the hirsute

The BLF has a special team of beard monitors watching at Carnoustie to judge hirsuteness levels.

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, at least Peter Alliss has noticed that this is the most hirsute Open of modern times. As a pogonophobe he obviously doesn’t like that hence the rather insulting suggestion that golfers have grown beards with the help of a garden fertilizer

 

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