Articles

Hirsute update guidelines for ‘heatwave’ beard trimming

In Uncategorized on July 3, 2018 by kmflett

Beard Liberation Front

PRESS RELEASE

2nd July

Contact Keith Flett 07803 167266

Hirsute update guidelines for ‘heatwave’ beard trimming

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers which campaigns against beardism, irrational prejudice against the hirsute has issued updated guidelines on beard trimming in heatwave conditions.

The campaigners have urged the hirsute to take special care of their beards as temperatures continue to in the hover just below the 30C mark in many areas

BLF organiser Keith Flett said, shaving off the beard in the UK during hot temperatures is a serious error. Facial hair has a cooling effect on the skin and exposed to the sun’s rays after shaving sunburn is a likely outcome

Flett continued, however when in Algiers in 1882 Karl Marx had a full beard trim, as opposed to pruning, and exceptionally this is also permitted until further notice.

Guidelines for maintaining & trimming the Beard in hot weather

If the beard is above three inches in length moderate summer trimming may be in order, following the guidelines set by Marx in 1882

If the beard starts to over-heat immersing it in the freezer cabinet of the nearest supermarket will provide an instant remedy

Hand held fans may also be used to ventilate the beard

If the beard starts to dry out in the heat and follicles become brittle immersion in a pint of craft beer will moisturise and nourish the beard.

Trimming should on no account be done in a barbers shops. Barbers are notorious pogonophobes who will enthusiastically ‘over-trim’

Trimming should be done using a pair of fine scissors and a mirror to a length and style to suit. DO NOT use any form of shaver. Trimming is a craft job

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