Articles

The Ambridge Socialist: Revealed- the Titchener (nearly naked) Calendar 2017

In Uncategorized on October 16, 2016 by kmflett

The Ambridge Socialist

October 16th CONTACT KEITH FLETT 07803 167266

The real Borsetshire Echo: 65 years of class struggle in Ambridge

Revealed: The Titchener (nearly naked) Calendar 2017

titchenerup

Those buying the official Archers Calendar for 2017 will find a charming introductory page from Rob Titchener awaiting them. Titchener himself however has been busy on social media promoting an alleged Titchener 2017 Calendar.

In the Ambridge Socialist poll, results of which will be released later on Sunday, it’s fair to say that the idea of a Titchener Calendar has not proved overwhelmingly popular. But there is a hard core of support that wants to see it.

The Ambridge Socialist has posed the question as to whether the Calendar will be similar to the 2016 Ambridge Calendar Girls consisting of tasteful shots of Titchener in the nude.

Some proposed months on the Titchener naked calendar

Making custard with a strategically placed apron

Riding to hounds, hat placed over a certain area

Striding to the wicket with his bat carefully placed

Keeping wicket with the ball heading to a strategic area

In the Farm Shop a string of Tom’s sausages suggestively but strategically dangling

Emerging naked from a culvert

In Alum Bay, Isle of Wight, with a strategically placed phial of sand

In the village shop slightly obscured by the ham slicer

In the dairy by the diabolical converter

On the village green, naked on a bench aside from a copy of Boris Johnson’s autobiography

The Editor thanks Megan Davies, Hazel Potter and blog commenters

Is Ian set to leave the Archers?

With cost cutting continuing at the BBC it may be that Ian is bound out of Ambridge towards, most likely, not Scotland but Walford E20 where he can open a restaurant selling Tom’s sausages and scotch eggs.

In Other News

According to Lynda, Kate is filling a spiritual void in Ambridge. Isn’t that what The Bull is for?

Neil may help with the cider pressing

Shula may take over the Borsetshire Hunt from Oliver. She ponders whether to bar Titchener or hunt him. Alastair is in favour of Shula being Master of Woofers and may sell his Veterinary practice

Robert has thoughtfully persuaded Lynda to do a Christmas Show

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