Articles

The Ambridge Socialist: 82% say Titchener DID murder Scruff

In Uncategorized on August 7, 2016 by kmflett

The Ambridge Socialist

2nd August CONTACT KEITH FLETT 07803 167266

The real Borsetshire Echo: 60 years of class struggle in Ambridge

82% say Titchener DID murder Scruff

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After the BBC reported that Lynda Snell’s dog had been found dead on the day of the Ambridge fete last Sunday, the Ambridge Socialist ran a poll to check whether its readers thought Rob Titchener might have done it.

The results of the poll are now in and 82% agree Titchener DID murder Scruff.

Scruff, or a dog resembling Scruff, had only recently returned home after a prolonged absence following a disappearance in the 2015 Great Flood of Ambridge.

Initial thoughts were that Scruff had perished in the flood but always the figure of Rob Titchener loomed in the background.

One rumour was that Scruff had ‘seen too much’ during the Great Flood and Titchener had had the dog ‘disposed’ of. Specifically Scruff may have been present when Titchener had an altercation with farm worker Stefan, following which Stefan was never heard of again.

However mysterious, if distant barkings were heard.

Titchener ‘resigned’ from his job as manager at the Mega-Dairy and not long after a decomposed dog was found in the diabolical converter. Many thought it was Scruff, placed there by Titchener.

More recently a dog claiming to be Scruff re-appeared. Now it is dead.

There are several options:

Titchener did indeed murder Scruff during or shortly after the Great Flood and then, later, tried to dispose of the dog’s remains in the diabolical converter.

Titchener murdered Scruff elsewhere but to avoid suspicion released a very similar dog which found its way to Lynda Snell’s house where it, understandably, died.

Titchener or his agents actually murdered Scruff last Sunday.

Ambridge Socialist Editor Keith Flett said, we can’t be absolutely certain how or in want circumstances Rob Titchener murdered Scruff, but Ambridge Socialist readers are clear he did. The next question is, did Titchener also murder Stefan?

 

 

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