England Beard Rankings for 2nd Test against Sri Lanka

In Uncategorized on May 30, 2016 by kmflett

Beard Liberation Front

30th May

Media Release, contact Keith Flett 07803 167266

England Beard Rankings for 2nd Test against Sri Lanka


The Beard Liberation Front the informal network of beard wearers that campaigns against beardism, prejudice against the hirsute, has issued its beard rankings for the England team for the second Test against Sri Lanka in Durham.

The campaigners say that after careful observation and assessment they have identified 4 categories:




Spaghetti Western

Organic Category

1 Moeen Ali

2 Jonny Bairstow

Hipster Category

1 Steven Finn

2 James Vince

3 Jimmy Anderson

4 Nick Compton

Scruffy Category

Stuart Broad

Spaghetti Western (proto-beard category)

1 Chris Woakes

2 Alex Hales

3 Alastair Cook

Beard Liberation Front organiser Keith Flett said, this is the most hirsute England cricket side for many years but that doesn’t mean that all beards are in the same category. We urge the Selectors to pay close attention to the balance of facial hair styles in the team for the Lords Test. We also have a moment of rare agreement with Jonathan Agnew. We believe beards of whatever style should be smart. At the moment Stuart Broad fails the test.



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