The Ambridge Socialist: Titchener, ‘I’m no monster’

In Uncategorized on April 3, 2016 by kmflett

The Ambridge Socialist 3rd April

CONTACT KEITH FLETT 07803 167266 the real Borsetshire Echo: 65 years of class struggle in Ambridge

Titchener: ‘I’m not a monster’ Jess ‘Yes, he is’


Titchener appears to have confessed by omission in various interviews this week that he both murdered Stefan the farm worker who blew the whistle on the reality of the Great Flood of Ambridge and blocked culverts that caused the flood in the first place. The reality is that Titchener already has blood on his hands.

Boarding Schools

The Ambridge Socialist prefers education to be in comprehensive schools, democratically run by Local Education Authorities. It goes without saying then that we are no fans, in principle, of Boarding Schools.

However the recent attempt by Titchener and his mother Ursula to pack Henry off to a Boarding School behind the back of Helen has drawn criticism from the Boarding Schools Association.

They say (I Paper 29th March) ‘Families who select boarding do so with the full involvement of parents and their children, so it is the right choice for everyone. The idea therefore that somehow a father might connive…against the wishes of his life shows lamentable ignorance.’.

They also say that the storyline plays up to a ‘hackneyed media stereotype’ that boarding schools are somewhere to banish unwanted children

Craft beer & cider in Ambridge: Special Report

Due to events this is delayed until next week

Alf Grundy innocent; Titchener is not

Eddie and Clarrie have grassed up Alf to the Vicar as the man responsible for stealing £400 from Church funds. At least that is according to the perpetually anti-proletarian BBC. The vicar himself is more circumspect pointing out that there is no actual evidence that Alf took the money. Meanwhile the real criminals in Ambridge- think Titchener- continue to be free.

The Ambridge Socialist Quiz

Where is Henry’s Easter Egg?

A: in his stomach after he ate it

B In the bin where Titchener put it

In other news

Eddie Grundy ‘it’s the labour of people like us that made the countryside what it is’; Joe Grundy ‘you’re beginning to sound like a Commie’


One Response to “The Ambridge Socialist: Titchener, ‘I’m no monster’”

  1. What about Dorothy, to good to be true, slightly creepy, is there a serial killer in our midst?

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