Articles

Hirsute permit hot weather beard trimming

In Uncategorized on May 25, 2017 by kmflett

Hirsute permit hot weather beard trimming

Beard Liberation Front

PRESS RELEASE

25th May

Contact Keith Flett 07803 167266

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers which campaigns against beardism, has issued advice to the hirsute to take special care of their beards as temperatures are set to hit 30C in some areas of the UK at the weekend.

BLF organiser Keith Flett said, there is no need to fully shave off the beard in the UK during hot temperatures. However when in Algiers in 1882 Karl Marx had a full beard trim, as opposed to pruning, and exceptionally this is also permitted until after the Bank Holiday weekend

The campaign group says that after a lengthy period of moderate weather, a change to hot temperatures can mean that the beard is unused to the conditions and follicles may dry out and wither unless precautions are taken

Guidelines for maintaining the Beard in hot weather

  • If the beard is above six inches in length moderate summer trimming may be in order, following the guidelines set by Marx in 1882
  • If the beard starts to over-heat immersing it in the freezer cabinet of the nearest supermarket will provide an instant remedy
  • Hand held fans may also be used to ventilate the beard
  • If the beard starts to dry out in the heat and follicles become brittle immersion in a pint of craft beer will moisturise and nourish the beard

Articles

Chelsea Flower Show: we back Corbyn on allotments

In Uncategorized on May 25, 2017 by kmflett

The Socialist Gardener

Press Release       25th May contact Keith Flett 07803 167266

CHELSEA FLOWER SHOW: WE BACK CORBYN ON ALLOTMENTS

The Socialist Gardener, the occasional organ of socialist gardeners, has urged people to look beyond the Chelsea Flower Show, describing it as tending too much towards a celebration of gardening for the wealthy rather than developing interest in matters horticultural.

Instead it suggests instead that people focus on allotments, and growing their own vegetables as a practical way to overcome austerity

Jeremy Corbyn’s leadership of the Labour Party has provoked new interest in allotments as the Labour leader has long had one in North London.

While the Chelsea Flower Show raises money for charity and showcases some important developments in horticulture, the campaigners say that it remains to a significant degree part of the London social season for the haves rather than the have nots.

The campaigners say the fact that Rupert Murdoch attended the pre-opening events in 2016 underlines the point

Editor of the Socialist Gardener Keith Flett said, ‘The RHS does useful work around the UK but at Chelsea gardening can be a way for those who still have any money after years of austerity to show off. A day ticket for an ordinary member of the public now costs £100.

He continued, meanwhile public parks are being neglected and spending on them drastically cut back. It’s time for a move towards people’s gardening. We say tax the rich gardeners and use the money for parks and allotments.

The 2017 Manifesto for a Socialist Garden

We demand that the new Government launches a massive programme of investment in public parks and provision for allotments so that all may enjoy the pleasure of gardens and gardening

We believe in the right to roam over the gardens of the rich

We support the nationalisation of the land and the creation of public parks and gardens as a matter of priority

We believe that real gardeners should eschew the use of garden centres. If you need a new plant, simply liberate it from the garden of a wealthy neighbour.

We support the hop family as the ultimate in grass roots garden plants

Articles

UKIP to launch ‘manifesto’. What will it say about beards

In Uncategorized on May 24, 2017 by kmflett

Beard Liberation Front

25th May

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The self styled far right ‘political party’ UKIP that claims to be participating in the 2017 General Election is set to launch its ‘manifesto’ on Thursday. Its thought it will take the form of a handy perforated roll but a key question is what it will say on beards.

Paul Nuttall who in the absence of anyone else at all wanting the role is ‘leader’ of UKIP has sported a beard in recent times, breaking with the traditional image of the pencil brush moustache.

The key issue is whether UKIP in its ‘manifesto’ will claim to be beard friendly

Articles

Troops on the streets and the Freeborn Englishman

In Uncategorized on May 24, 2017 by kmflett

GIGN

The decision to raise the security threat level to critical and deploy troops on the streets, aside from receiving the applause of The Sun, is perhaps understandable in the light of the awful bomb in Manchester. If there is a threat of more that needs to be fully addressed and stopped.

Paul Mason the Momentum activist and journalist has called on social media for a longer term setting up of an equivalent to the French paramilitary police the GIGN. It is perhaps not the most obvious argument for someone on the left but as Mason is also a convert to NATO perhaps we can understand something about where he is coming from.

Nevertheless while both Britain and France are democracies the latter is noticeably more authoritarian in terms of how the State behaves than the UK. This is not a matter particularly of some quirk of the British or English character but the concrete result of battles the left and the labour movement have fought over two centuries.

E.P Thompson in the Making of the English Working Class described the Freeborn Englishman:

freedom from absolutism (the constitutional monarchy), freedom from arbitary arrest, trial by jury, equality before the law, the freedom of the home from arbitary entrance and search, some limited liberty of thought, of speech and of conscience, the vicarious participation in liberty..afforded by the right of parliamentary opposition and by elections and election tumults.. as well as freedom to travel, trade, and sell one’s own labour.

He was not automatically a figure of the left but what he did not like in particular was the arbitrary use of State power. That seems to me why a permanent GIGN equivalent is not something the left can support

Articles

Will Theresa May order policy chief Nick Timothy to u-turn on his beard?

In Uncategorized on May 22, 2017 by kmflett

Beard Liberation Front

22nd May

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said there are concerns that after Theresa May’s partial u-turn on social care that she may now order policy chief Nick Timothy to shave his organic beard to counter pogonophobic concerns that he is hiding further u-turns in it.

BLF Organiser Keith Flett, with Jeremy Corbyn’s beard what you see is what you get, but is the same true for Nick Timothy?

Articles

Historians urge people to remember the Chartists & Suffragettes & register to vote

In Uncategorized on May 22, 2017 by kmflett

London Socialist Historians

22nd May

Contact Keith Flett 07803 167266

The London Socialist Historians Group that organises the socialist history seminar at the Institute of Historical Research has urged people to register to vote in the June 8th Election.

The deadline is midnight on 22nd May

The historians says that the vote-universal suffrage- had to be fought for from the Chartists in the 1830s and 1840s right through to the Suffragettes before and after World War One.

All women and men over 21 (later 18) didnt get the vote until the Equal Franchise Act 1928.

2017 marks the 150th anniversary of the 1867 Reform Act which was the first to significantly extend the vote to working men. This was achieved after mass demonstrations by the Reform League.

LSHG convenor Keith Flett said, the right to vote had to be fought for. Registering to use it is a democratic duty

Articles

The Ambridge Socialist: new Ambridge gin crisis

In Uncategorized on May 21, 2017 by kmflett

The Ambridge Socialist

65 Years of the class struggle in Borsetshire

21st May

Ambridge Gin crisis

With both Kenton and Toby involved it was obvious that not too long would pass before there was an Ambridge gin crisis. Kenton has invested in Toby’s gin distilling, instead of paying back David the loan he had from him to keep The Bull going. Toby however has f**ked up the latest batch of Scruff’s gin meaning there is a shortfall in supply. No one is happy, as is usual in Ambridge

Labour gaining on the Tories in South Borsetshire

The latest poll conducted for the Ambridge Socialist on how people will vote in South Borsetshire on June 8th shows the following:

Bufton Tufton (Tory) 41%

Jeremy Fox (Labour) 35%

Tim Spliffing (LibDem) 9%

Worzel Gummidge (Green) 5%

A.Hilter (UKIP) 2%

Can Miranda & Justin agree a divorce settlement?

Negotiations are underway between Miranda and Justin on a divorce settlement. Horses have loomed large, but Justin is happy for Miranda to have his ski-lodge. The next stage is for Miranda to meet Matt Crawford.

In Other News

Matt has returned some trinkets he stole from Lillian. Who he stole them from this time has not been disclosed

Harrison has held a road safety session in the Village Hall. He may have more success with the cricket team