Beard Liberation Front
Press Release 22nd December. Contact Keith Flett 07803 167266
A guide to the beard friendly mince pie
December is the season for mince pie eating, but it can provide particular challenges for the hirsute.
The Beard Liberation Front has identified two key issues:
Icing sugar in the beard: this can have the effect of turning it prematurely white and can be difficult to remove if sticky and can lead to white beard syndrome and a people shouting ‘Oi Santa’ at you.
Pastry flakes and crumbs in the beard: If this occurs it is guaranteed that any pogonophobe within 100 metres will shout ‘oi mate you’ve got the remains of your breakfast/lunch etc in your beard’.
There are several ways of avoiding the issues above:
1] Wear a special mince pie beard snood
2] Focus on eating only beard friendly mince pies. In particular pies where the ratio of filling to pastry lies with the former are likely to be more beard friendly.
3] If time and culinary skills allow you can of course make your own beard friendly mince pies
The Beard Liberation Front continues to research the beard friendly mince pie. Interim results are below:
Supermarket mince pies: Tesco,Sainsburys, M&S etc. Check for the amount of frosting/icing sugar etc. Most have lids with frosting. Sainsburys do have a line of topless mince pies more suitable for the hirsute.
Heston: these are available in Waitrose. They do not have a top or flaky pastry. The icing sugar comes in a separate packet and so is easily avoided.
Konditor & Cook. The pastry here is more like a savoury pie, and there is no icing sugar so the two key problems for the hirsute in eating them are avoided.
Designer mince pies: as Christmas itself nears these become more widely available. They are often smaller than the traditional mince pie and the emphasis tends to be more on the filling than the pastry which can help beard friendliness.
BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, there are some reasonably beard friendly mince pies out there but the hirsute need to choose carefully. For the unwary eater icing sugar and pastry flakes in the beard can be a serious concern