Articles

The Ambridge Socialist: Is Borsetshire MP Bufton Tufton set to defect to UKIP?

In Uncategorized on September 30, 2014 by kmflett

The Ambridge Socialist

Press Release 30th September CONTACT KEITH FLETT 07803 167266

The real Borsetshire Echo: 60 years of class struggle in Ambridge

Is Borsetshire MP Bufton Tufton set to defect to UKIP?

The Ambridge Socialist has received reports that the long standing Tory MP for Borsetshire South, Bufton Tufton, is set to defect to UKIP as David Cameron gives his keynote speech to the Tory Conference in Birmingham this week.

Bufton Tufton, 62, [Eton, Oxford] was first elected as MP for South Borsetshire in 1997 and is widely believed to have a policy of Britain Out of Europe, Ambridge Out of Everywhere.

The Ambridge Socialist understands that Bufton Tufton was recently seen, unreported by the BBC’s The Archers, having a pint of Shires with Nigel Farage in The Bull

Ambridge Socialist Editor Keith Flett said, Bufton Tufton could be the next Tory MP to defect to UKIP. There has been concern about the impact of EU agricultural policies in Borsetshire although awkwardly for Tufton, these have often been of a positive nature.

Brian Aldridge was unavailable for comment

 

Articles

Can the Tory Party Ever Be Beard Friendly? Poll #cpc14

In Uncategorized on September 29, 2014 by kmflett

Beard Liberation Front

press release

29th September

Contact keith flett                                           07803 167266

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TORY CONFERENCE: DESIGNER BEARDS BREAK COVER

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said that its observers have noted the rise of the Designer Beard at the Tory Party Conference in Birmingham for the first time.

The development comes after the appointment of the first hirsute Tory Cabinet Minister since 1905, Stephen Crabb, earlier this year, although Mr Crabb does not himself sport a designer beard

In 2010 the Tory Conference won the accolade of the Most Hirsute Party Conference as the diversity of Mr Cameron’s apparently new brand of Conservatism took hold.

The Designer Beard is notable for its finely chiselled and sculpted appearance and is distinct from the hipster beard on the basis of style [no very short hair cut accompanies it] and from the UKIP Retro beard of people like Steve Crowther which is in the Goatee and red trousers area.

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, The numbers of beards in the hall at the Tory Conference on Monday morning was very limited but there was a small but notable presence of designer beards. Perhaps Mr Cameron should take the hint and grow one himself.

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The Beard Liberation Front will announce the winner of the most Hirsute Party Conference 2014 on October 8th.

Articles

The Ambridge Socialist: The Hunt returns

In Uncategorized on September 28, 2014 by kmflett

The Ambridge Socialist

28th September CONTACT KEITH FLETT 07803 167266

The real Borsetshire Echo: 60 years of class struggle in Ambridge

The Hunt returns

The Hunt has returned to Ambridge and to the BBC’s reporting of the village’s affairs on the Archers. It follows Rob Titchener’s enthusiasm for hunting things [a David Archer in waiting]. Oliver, as usual, convened the hunt which duly chased a fox until someone remembered that the BBC was reporting it and the fox was allowed to escape on this occasion.

There were of course no anti-hunting sentiments reported aside from some tut-tutting from Pat and Tony.

Ambridge Socialist Editor Keith Flett said, Tally Ho! Why can’t the Hunt chase Rob?

Roy threatens Elizabeth with an Employment Tribunal

Let’s hope Usha has advised him that he has 89 days from the day of his departure to file a claim, that he needs to run it past ACAS first and get a number from them if Elizabeth won’t agree to a settlement and he needs to find £1200 to pay for it. In addition he needs a lawyer to fight his case [starting price £300 an hour]. Ambridge Socialist Editor Keith Flett ‘Tory justice has arrived in Ambridge’

79% in Telegraph poll find the Archers ‘steamy but irresistible’

Should wish to know more or even vote in the poll a link to Gillian Reynolds’ Telegraph article [24th Sept] is here: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/tv-and-radio-reviews/11116883/The-Archers-is-steamy-and-ridiculous-but-still-irresistible.html

The Times They are Changin’ in Ambridge

Out: The Tuckers

In: Johnny

In: Heather

In: Carol

In Other News

Henry has mumps

Brown flows the Am

 

Articles

Tory Conference: Will Stephen Crabb herald the return of the beard?

In Uncategorized on September 28, 2014 by kmflett

Beard Liberation Front

press release

28th September

Contact keith flett                                            07803 167266

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TORY CONFERENCE: WILL STEPHEN CRABB HERALD THE RETURN OF THE BEARD?

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said that there may be some good news for the Tory Party whose annual Conference is set to start in Birmingham on Sunday.

With continuing resignations of follicly challenged MPs to UKIP and the appointment of the first hirsute Tory Cabinet Minister since 1905, Stephen Crabb, earlier this year it may be that the Tories are set to start the process of ditching their long held image of clean shaven men in suits.

In 2010 the Tory Conference won the accolade of the Most Hirsute Party Conference as the diversity of Mr Cameron’s apparently new brand of Conservatism took hold.

However since then the clean shaven has fought back

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, The last hirsute Prime Minister was a Tory, Lord Salisbury, and one wonders if David Cameron will send a message by referencing him in his keynote speech. It could be a positive note for the Tories in a period of setbacks

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The Beard Liberation Front will announce the winner of the most Hirsute Party Conference 2014 on October 8th.

Articles

Our Conkers Are Not For Sale on E-Bay say campaigners

In Uncategorized on September 27, 2014 by kmflett

Campaign For Real Conkers

Against bans  on conker playing

Press Release 27th September Contact Keith Flett, 07803 167266

Our Conkers Are Not For Sale on E-Bay say campaigners

The Campaign For Real Conkers, the group that opposes bans on conker playing, has said that with the 2014 conker season underway it is appalled that conkers are being advertised for sale on E-Bay.

Batches of 40 conkers are selling for £4.50 a throw on the site

The campaigners say that the whole point of conkers is that they are free, both to collect and to play with

With warm weather earlier in the summer and a good September the 2014 conker crop is amongst the best for some years. There are plenty of conkers to be find lying on the ground and some still to fall

Campaign Organiser Keith Flett said, The E-Bay pitch is that conkers are spider repellents which is unproven. What they are good for is the traditional game which focuses on destroying your opponent’s conker and perhaps rapping them on the knuckles a few times as well

Link to E-Bay story

http://metro.co.uk/2014/09/26/peopleidiots-are-now-buying-batches-of-conkers-for-4-50-from-ebay-4882237/

The Campaign for Real Conkers promotes free for all conker playing across the UK. It will run an alternative event to the World Conker Championships, on October 12th where it encourages people to have a go at playing conkers without the need for rules, regulations and teams.

Notes for Editors

  • The CFRC believes that conkers is one of the few sports that can be played for free. All that is required is a conker and some string.
  • It is opposed to championships, rules, regulations, separate teams for men and women and commercial sponsorship.
  • It seeks to encourage people of all ages to play conkers. It should not be the preserve purely of those of mature years

Articles

UKIP conference: Hipster or Retro beards?

In Uncategorized on September 26, 2014 by kmflett

Beard Liberation Front

press release                                                              26th Sept

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UKIP CONFERENCE: HIPSTER OR RETRO BEARDS?

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said that with UKIP’s annual conference underway in Doncaster it appears that the party’s long standing, if informal, ban on beards appearing at the rostrum has been lifted.

Friday morning’s session was chaired by Steve Crowther who is hirsute and at least one platform speaker had a beard.

The campaigners say that the new UKIP beard appears to be retro if not reactionary in nature. While at a glance it could be mistaken for a hipster beard-a neatly trimmed and styled goatee- in practice the look is Retro. It is the beard of the ex-military man, the antique dealer and perhaps even a nautical style Captain BirdsEye.

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, we are not aware that UKIP has any beard friendly policies at all but maybe the image on display in Doncaster is designed to send a message much as Nigel Farage’s Paddy Power advert could be said to.

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The Beard Liberation Front will announce the winner of the most Hirsute Party Conference 2014 on October 8th

Beard Liberation Front updates throughout the day @kmflett

Articles

Campaigners say Paxman should re-grow his beard for Channel 4 role

In Uncategorized on September 24, 2014 by kmflett

 

Beard Liberation Front

press release                                                     24th September

Contact keith flett                                            07803 167266

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CAMPAIGNERS SAY PAXMAN SHOULD RE-GROW HIS BEARD FOR CHANNEL 4 ROLE

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said that after the announcement earlier that Jeremy Paxman is to front Channel 4 General Election coverage in 2015 he should underline his independence by re-growing his beard which was short listed for Beard of the Year in 2013.

Paxman presented BBC2’s Newsnight from August 2013 with a beard but when he appeared after the Christmas break in January 2014 it had gone. The veteran news anchor claimed the BBC was pogonophobic and that he had come under pressure to shave his beard off much earlier than he did.

The campaigners say that the re-appearance of the Paxman beard would underline his iconic status as a broadcaster.

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said Jeremy Paxman has a golden chance to stick two fingers at the Broadcasting Establishment and appear on our screens once again with a beard. We urge him to take it

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